Monday, 19 July 2010

• Lord of the Freak Floods

  
  

  Word from the Ministry for Water Works...
      
  Sinister Saruman: "Listen up... middle earthlings. I will tell you now that the floods were only a freak event... that happens once every 50 years!"
  
   
  Legolas: "Ask you lah, Aragon ...You really believe what this freak say?"
  Aragon: "You ask me ah?... Even if you ask God, he will oso give you this same blank face like mine."
  
  
  Legolas: "Oh si liao ..I see lightning is here again! That means going to rain soon."
  Aragon: "Hmmm ... Tgee Oor Oor ... Beh Lor Hor!"
  
  
  Legolas: "Huh? What say you?"
  Aragon: "Oh ...I'm practicing my Elvish."
  
  
  Legolas: "Anyway. If it rains... Let's see what execuses he will say this time. They never seem to be accountable for any lapses."
  Aragon: "What's more ...we pay them so much to do... absolutely nothing. By the way, even if I look stoned faced, I'm actually really pissed off underneath."
  
  
  Gimli: "I think he will find a scapegoat to blame. Just watch..."
  
  
  Over at the PUB...
  
  Theoden: "Hmmm... dark clouds again?!"
  
  
  Men: "Woah craps. Sir... Check out the lightning."
  Theoden: "Here we go again..." *moan*
  
    
  Men: Sir ..don't worry, Sinister Saruman will help us out this time."
  
  
  Theoden: "Don't count on that. Like the rest of them, he's been known to backstab others when they smell trouble coming....and go into his cave hole and hide."
  
  
  Men: But ...Sir! You can also ask Ministry for Home Affairs to support you and back you up. I heard they are very the good one!"
  
  
  Theoden: "MHA!? Those mudder forkers! Where were they when Mas Selamat escaped?! Where where they when SMRT kenna spray painted?! Where were they when the Immgration horde came?! Where were they ... Argh! I want to vomit blood! *moan* ... I have a bad feeling we are going to be in helm's deep sh*t again."
  
  
  Mean while at Orchard Road...
  
  Orc Citizen: Waaaaah! The rain pouring like mad one! So many times these few months and nothing is being done! Businesses are affect and so is everyone! I can't go shopping liao! I really cannot tahan the flash floods anymore. I want to dieeee!"
  
  
  Orc Citizen: "... ..."
  
  
  Orc Citizen: "... ..."
  Orc Bystander: Eh eh eh! Brother... what happening to you??
  
  
  Orc Citizen: " ... ... " *splat*
  Orc by Stander: "Crap ..i think he fainted! Somebody call Am-bu-lan!"
  
  
  Next day on the Middle Earth News...
  
  BB See: "Good evening....This is the Middle Earth Noose Network."
  Adrianna Wow: "Wow ..Yesterday, the streets of Orchard Road was flooded! ...with Ice Milo ...Wow!"
  
  
  BB See: "Yes. The Ministry for Waterworks Sinister Saruman said that it is PUB's fault and it has nothing to do with him doing nothing or shaking leg in his office and collecting million-hairs pay... "
  Adrainna Wow: "Shhh shhh shhh cannot say that ... censored ... censored ..."
  
  
  BB See: "Oh Sorry, my bad. It is still unclear what the main cause of the flooding is but many speculate that it has something do to with the Marina Bullocks... "
  Adrainna Wow: "Shhh shhh censored censored!! ...Mean while, we will provide you with some camera shots of the flooding... to keep you from getting politcal."
  
   
   
   
  
  
  
  
  Merry: "First world can have floods meh?"
  Pipin: "Eh.. eh.. First World is they say one. Not me say one okay! ...but everyone knows, they still Third World!"
  Merry & Pipin: "Don't vote them next time liao ..always bluff people one."
  
  
  BREAKING NEWS...
  
  BB See: "This just in. We have received a video clip of Sinister Saruman expressing his upmost sincere apology regarding the recent flash floods. The flood is indeed the responsibility of the Ministry for Waterworks and apparently everyone says it's their bloody fault."
  Adrainna Wow: "Woooow...Let's view the apology clip shall we?"
  
  
  
  
  

  • 2:35 PM
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